PRESSURE!!!!

y must force me go work??? y must wan me to go work at places foreign to me??? y???
as my result is going to come out in feb, i realli juz wan to work for about 2 weeks and not wanting to learn anything.... first thing, cny is on 7... if i work, i nid reduce my cny celebration, especially most of my primary school friend wan to go out wit me.... second, valentine, my 1st valentine, is one of the importance i wudnt wan to miss.... 23feb, jay chow concert.... its all happening on feb... how can i find a job??? how???
pls dont push me.... T_T

Resolutions

as i read so many resolutions, and i think over by some times, whats my resolution for this year? i guess i have no resolution cause i am quite happy with my life right now... in some point, i want to improve myself...
if can, i want to have a perfect body with 6p.... wahaha... exercise lo...
erm, i want to be more clear minded... smarter...
and and,,, erm,,, i want to be more mature MENTALLY...
ya ya.... dats all... ok... moving on to 2007 achievement....
i passed my practical exam.... learnt plenty road.... more control driving skill... FATTER.... still waiting for my theory results....
my best achievement is being with bibi.... as i think it is fate brought us together... nothing is more happier.... *close my eyes*
my 2008 wish, i wish i can be with bibi forever... erm,, as i think many ppl will think dat, how long is forever?? its as simple as its word... just dont count the days going to be together, just hope for the days i can live, i wanted to be with bibi.... simple?? pls dont comment bout tis... i dont like ppl talking bout realistic infront of me, coz in my world, real or not, it dont stop me from doing it.... wats wrong being in fantasy world?? we will die one day anyway.... just live life to the fullest la...
and finalize my top point, its raining now, and i want to pee... peace ^^V...

Eye'sDark

panda eye... last night, i heard that my friend broke up becoz he had an ex-gf... well, some ppl might think she is stupid, some even think she is trying to find an excuse to dump my friend... erm,, i see him living his life well... doesnt seem sad... isit becoz he hide his tears or juz he dun care bout his last relationship... its correct that,, being happy is better den being sad,, but isit so easy to let go a relationship??? going through ppl blogs,, i found dat,, they usually encourage themselve to be strong.... i personally think that loving someone cannot be mixed wit reality... means ,,, as example,,, in my friend case,, he dont show any sadness after break up.... i mean,,, shud he go and drink?? or be cheerful?? the matter is not shud or shud not,,, its whether how deep is his feelings.... i sometimes think dat,, i shudnt cheer other ppl up when they break,, well atleast they wont be happy awhile den sad again,,, i rather they be sad for a period of time,, den come out as themself.... i also think,,, if sad,, its good to cry.... god make us cry-able,,, den juz cry la... wats wrong??? listen to the saddest songs and sing ur heart and cry as hard as you could.... living life in reality and in own dreamland both come to the end soon... as long as being a better ownself, whats wrong living in dreamland.... afterall,, life is unpredictable...being realistics doesnt always gain...
my dear de bro is going to australia next year.... he seem to be very care dear these few days.... isit becoz he finally realise next year is juz around corner?? i dunno... i juz think that he is like me... but juz luckier.... i m glad dat i m better den those unfortunate ones.... atleast i hav shelter and food... but i realli think that,, dear shud get more education since she is so good in studies... it doesnt matter son nor daughter... its the same....

Finding Job

Erm, i knew that studies are less important... today i went for interview, all they ask for is experience and looks... the first thing asked,,, how long i had work... ofcoz,, i work several years as part time but actually i forgot everything when i study... so everytime i work again in my holiday,,, my memory is lik refreshed... and so,, today when i was asked bout lens products, i am completed down to zero... i cant do my eyetest and i cant cut my lens.... cause frankly,, i only roughly remember... besides dat,, after the cruel exam,,, my look had become more down and tired... the guy interviewing me said i dont hav enuff eye contacts and my smile wasnt natural... ofcoz la,, i haven even bath and i was wearing my pm rm2 pants.... such a shame... i knew the outcome alredi... actually i realli wan to learn more about MOG, focus point and a-look... those are the three most successful optical shops in malaysia in case of overall performance... i realli nid to go in and work from one of them... pls giv me a better job... ^_^V

Longest Hour

in this minute, i found myself cry-able... reminded my late pet, Mimi... reminded dat, every year, i lost friends.... reminded dat the room i m living, is so cold... even as i cry so hard, i cant rewind and playback the moments before... even as i cry so hard, i cant change the fact that i hurt someone before... even as i cry so hard, i cant become the person i dreamt before...
you are my tears,
symbolizes my white and black,
behind the bubbly cloud,
of the blue sky,
you are my eyes,
let me see this world,
is just infront of me,
you are one part of me....
my heart is so brittle... so little... and maybe infront of everyone,, i smile... but behind,,, i m a human....

Shoes

Why shoes??Why female so interested with shoes??Why??Can they ever throw away a JimmyChoo??? I mean CAN they worth so much to keep??? Buying is one thing,, and wearing is another...
People say, "A lady's shoes is de f'mine best friend" ....

KO-Numbers

erm... similar to ko1 de show, chung ji yi ban, ssm had a class like dat.... smoking, fighting, basketball.... legends of ssm... haihz... missing dat kinda of days... if now asked,,, regret of doing dat?? sure say no.... coz dat was the most memorable days.... seeing them fighting was kinda entertaining.... others school came to our school to fight.... after dat,,, when all kicked out of school,,, some go cp,,, some go sg long,,, some even work... their trace were gone... siannezzz.... no more entertainment....

how to kiss

Motivation

some ppl say dat when we put something in mind, we can reach the impossible... we try to understand dat the progress is more important than outcome... and how much effort we put in too... the more hardworking we are,, we will be more lucky... true, as it also means every hardwork doesnt always pay off... we juz get luckier... and most importantly how it is changed thru times... factors affecting motivation??? what makes you wake up everyday?? what inspire you to take the steps you are taking now??? how to count the uncountable effort?? how to know the outcome of something before it happen??

Factor 1(Person or thing that make you wake)
i think that a person motivation is dependant on a person or thing... they change your mind.... they make you wake up everyday.... receiving the very first light patch from a distant object, innovate the very first cone of retina, travel thru the first visual pathway and triggering our midbrain... in every heart there is something dat push us... have you find it yet??

Factor 2(Inspiration)
try counting the days you lived,,, and try see what we came by all these years... ordinary person with ordinary life... isit enough to inspire you... i had seen countless 40 to 50 years of age of people travelled the globe... knowing that one day they will be bored of their life and want to go on to the next life as soon as possible... they really hav no regret in life???

Cause 1(Effort is uncountable)
we cant really COUNT how much effort we do unless there's a relative to compare... judging effort is just a waste of time... we dont count them,, we should feel blessed for while still being able to do all the stuff we are doing...

Cause 2(Hopes)
wat we hope for is vitally important... hope for the best before the worst come... if we dont try,, how do we know how much we can achieve...

Person who is bored of life is wasting time to hope for the best....

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat

V1: I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

C: It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V2: The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under covers stayin safe (*) and warm
you give me feelins that I adore

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

B: What am I gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmm

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V3: I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

C: It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever you go, I'll always know
Cause you make me smile here, just for a while

(*) Another version with DRY instead of SAFE
[Bubbly Lyrics on
http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]


Overheard this song on ppl's blog... sounded nice...

Trashed

Many days came by and i juz realised i had been called "jong sik heng yao".... haihz.... ya realli... i jong sik heng yao.... i love my gf more den all.... isit that unreasonable??? i still hang out wit my friends... yum cha and all.... stuck wit exam sumore.... i dunno la... stp friendship.... i go out wit them so many times before.... been thru some good years.... and suddenly i m define by some back stab'er....
releasing my feeling now... haihz..... pressure.... exam in few days.... i felt the heat when i see the past years.... i dunno whether i can make it... i juz hope dat my prayers stopby my mind and guide me to the following graduation dinner... actually i felt sad dat bibi failed her test in practical... she cant make it in the next convo... nid to resit and wait for another year... not to say wait cause its not going to pause everything... she's not going to study anymore... so,, its not a waste of time....
well,, i also decided i dont wan to study after this course... i dun wan to be so educated.... but also hope i can hav a good future... seeing all my friends with dreams,,, i sincerely hoped dat they succeed in life, get what they most dreamt, and dont forget me after dat... haha...
recently i heard a song,, its call "xing bu liao qing" by "yang chung wei" of the "xing guang contest" from taiwan.... very nice.... when i miss bibi,, den i will turn on tis song,,, tears drop by bits and den everything felt better.... i finally know roughly wat is the extent of distance relationship....
life but a walking shadow.... wat does tis means? i think it as a kind of person who follow the steps of others.... am i right? dunno la.... juz saw tis from poems......

这就是爱 [̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦

Its been awhile i had my own masterpiece.... since 2005 i had the 1st best creation den to what i think the second best is in 2006.... and now i present 2007,,, best baby_production goes to............ *drum*.................... ta daaaa.......... :) and we have number 1...... enjoy....... hehe.......

HomeMadeSong...(TotallyRealisticVoice)

My voice is pure... I sang for the worst... my singing sucks... but for the sack of keeping my blog alive,, i nid to put something.... hope got ppl giv face and dont giv bad comment.... amen and namo-omi-tauhu.....

Heading On

towards the outside world.... i see myself as nothing without friends, family and my dear.... i m cant survive a minute without them.... i juz hope that there's a day when they realise they meant everything to me... finding the right path is juz so complicated... today realistic world... without a house and car... our life wont be complete... there are rich and poor people... and there are people fall in between them... trying to struggle to the way up higher... i desire, i hope, i wish everyone can live together as peace and harmony...
if today i write this,, there might be a time,, i cant afford my own electric bill,, and i stop writting my own blog... i feel my life is dropping to a trap... a trap where everyone pushing each other for their own survival... at last the loser will be in the street... and the winner claim the honour to stay in a good environment....
for my lack of intelligent,, i realli cant understan,,, why everyone cannot compromise?? if everything is worth a price,,, why still some people cant worth to buy?? i figure out there are many factors to consider..... we cant state an intelligent person can hav lots of money.... our environment, history build who we r now.... i am the kind of people who learn the past and dun wan to forget the sad things.... experience is what we gain.... if we throw away that most valuable thing of our life,, how could we can avoid making the same mistake???
through studies,,, qualifications,,, does any of these make us a better person??? does any of these help us find a job??? i most probably think that,,, if i am the boss,,, i will hire an experienced worker with lower salary,, rather than a high qualification student on a job... the state of risking the company progress is much higher wit high qualification student becoz,, everything in the company dont apply 100% on text book or lecture.... real job require skill and understanding,, yet a little of knowledge....
for an exceptional case which include physician and lawyers,,, both needed high in knowledge and experience..... legal practise is juz too much to learn before going out to the real world....
as i dunno why we as chinese dont satisfy our status in malaysia.... sure ya,,, there are special right for bumiputra but we still living in peace way.... how things happen and others will come distorted the whole matter till it goes in high social level.... people stay in one word.... citizen is one word... country is one word.... everyone giv a little bit,, and everyone get a little bit... doesnt dat juz be great??? why must there be selfish people who thoughts only come in one way??? think of both way before act is better,,, the point of view is one because it comes from our ownselve,,, if we gather all our friends opinion which comes in different direction,,, and maybe we get different thoughts....
different people,,, different personality,,, different actions,,, different way.... dats why old times goes lik " the world is fill with colours" which sounded so beautiful.... and as it is juz to warn us,,, better to be aware of everything happen around us..... there might be a time it will strike you....

FeelingBored

Paiseh

today i went to bibi relative wedding lo.... so many ppl i dunno.... pai seh nya..... shame shame lo..... bibi very bad..... bully me lo.... hmmmm...... blekkkkk........

Rainy Days

Its been awhile since its not raining in the midnight,,, its so cold.... Still remember back den when we were trying to get to PD beach.... Atleast there's some place to shade the rain..... We had our most enjoyable times..... not the most but,,, still ok gua.... One thing for sure,,, they ate my homemade cake..... Not bad for an amature.... Well,, didnt vomit or stomachache or something un-cool? no,, right? ok.... good things come,, i juz wan them come even more....
Lots of things i learnt,,, and one of most important is trust.... For me,,, growing up with full of back stabs and lies,,,, trust juz didnt come so straight forward for me..... To gain that,,, i really tried my best,,, its like a second nature to me,,, a reflex everytime i sense something...... Now,,, i hope for the better,,, and the best yet to come.... Trust,,,i believe,,, in my word,,, i will bring down my knees one day,,, and beg to let me be ur husband,,, TanXueYan.....
But for now,,, i must earn lots and lots of money,,, so that till dat day,,, when u r tired,,, i can tell u,,, "hey,,, u can rest on my shoulder for the rest of ur life".....

Her Tears

the things inside that box realli will hurt me so much?? even i haven open the box,,, i alredi hurt... becoz i saw the box alredi.....
wang le ba.... wang le ta..... wang ji ta ba..... inside the box is not important..... i dun wan to know..... i dun wan to know.... i dun wan to know.... i wan to be happier.... i wan u to be at my side.... i wan u to be at my side forever.... i wan to hold ur hands.... i wan to touch ur face and kiss u.... nothing can set us apart.... not even the devil inside my mind....

New Song

哪里有彩虹告诉我
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静
所有云都跑到我这里
有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药
看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着 你的身影这么近我却抱不到 没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走
你要离开我知道很简单

你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱

当作我最后才明白

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药
看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走
你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白
看不见你的笑
要我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳开始环绕环绕
没有理由我也能自己走掉
是我说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药
你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

Stress

I am going to burst.... I cant fail... I am not prepared... Studying like a dog...
Erm,,, relaxed today,,, din study... hopefully... i will pass....